Follow matthaig1 on Twitter


Close your eyes.

Think of the thing you are most ashamed of in the world.

Write that thing down and build a story around it.

Imagine you are Cervantes, writing the first modern novel, and invent your own style because you have to. Because nothing like it has gone before.

Imagine the person at school who hated you most in the world is going to read that story. George W. Bush, write a story from the perspective of Osama Bin Laden.

Make that person love the story.

Make that person cry and laugh, even as they are trying to hate you.

Let the story off the lead and let it run around and mess up the flowerbeds.

Read what you have written and if it makes you feel embarrassed then you are halfway there.

Think of the saddest day of your life. A day you couldn't have thought about picking up a book, let alone reading one.

Write for you on that day. Write until you make yourself laugh and cry on that day.

Be the arm around your shoulder in your darkest hour.

Add a couple of deaths and the chance of redemption.

Stir well.

Leave to bake.

The end.